Them's the [enter title here]
I have been absent, I have no note. I was captured by a mixture of Nationalist and Poor Law reforms.
My wits and my calculator have been tested to their limits. I feel some emotion for them, unwittingly of course. May the results be positive, which is a negative thing in most medical examinations. Mine was not that.
What the Chamberlain has been happening. No change has been given from my piece of paper. Counting has been diminished in the nation, I may move elsewhere, if Babylon reopens.
I repeat and I repeat but it does not go in. Clever euphemism.
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Folds
Not Ben. No.
I'm talking about the thing you put files and papers in. Got a missile silo of abuse due to disorganization and lack of plastic wallets.
Biatch.
My imperial policy is that he can shut the Disraeli up.
Then I witnessed a fight between a forty-something parent and a scrawny McLovin lookalike. Neither knew how to use consonants as they argued about "respe'" and "bu'ing in". Fucking capitals.
I'm talking about the thing you put files and papers in. Got a missile silo of abuse due to disorganization and lack of plastic wallets.
Biatch.
My imperial policy is that he can shut the Disraeli up.
Then I witnessed a fight between a forty-something parent and a scrawny McLovin lookalike. Neither knew how to use consonants as they argued about "respe'" and "bu'ing in". Fucking capitals.
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
Havoc on the streets of London
Havoc, I tells ya.
Rain, closed roads, the undead being brought back to the dead, the living stuck in one room. Chaos.
I studied the social reform of Disraeli and passed out die to an extreme excess of Irn Bru and Randomz. I woke up tied to the top of a history textbook with a head talking to me in a weird patronising context. It was unfortunately to get him out of debt. Just like Drop Down Day.
Hocus Pocus was playing and it gave me the strength to break free and then the Factory Act brought me to sobriety. Dark days. Sassoon and Owen were next on the hit list as Chapters 19 and 20 needed to be analysed. The hordes of minions sang and Anthem For Doomed Youth while I struggled with Futility in 1914. I ran out of the hallway in a blaze of bloodshod and grabbed a Chicken Legend on the way towards my escape vehicle.
The rain and traffic stalled my lessons, bitch. It drove me round the bend. Focus was still there while I was chased by pat Barker and her trilogy.
Far out.
Hope you all made it home safely.
Rain, closed roads, the undead being brought back to the dead, the living stuck in one room. Chaos.
I studied the social reform of Disraeli and passed out die to an extreme excess of Irn Bru and Randomz. I woke up tied to the top of a history textbook with a head talking to me in a weird patronising context. It was unfortunately to get him out of debt. Just like Drop Down Day.
Hocus Pocus was playing and it gave me the strength to break free and then the Factory Act brought me to sobriety. Dark days. Sassoon and Owen were next on the hit list as Chapters 19 and 20 needed to be analysed. The hordes of minions sang and Anthem For Doomed Youth while I struggled with Futility in 1914. I ran out of the hallway in a blaze of bloodshod and grabbed a Chicken Legend on the way towards my escape vehicle.
The rain and traffic stalled my lessons, bitch. It drove me round the bend. Focus was still there while I was chased by pat Barker and her trilogy.
Far out.
Hope you all made it home safely.
Sunday, 4 October 2009
2x18=4am
Right, conundrum on Saturday. Two 18th birthday parties to go to. This explains the title, if I'd named it 18x2, people would wonder why I know these two year olds and why I'm invited to their parties.
Well, they'd wonder if anyone was actually reading this. Which they aren't.
Anywhatever, I decided to go to yno, the better one. Had a blast, drank some strange blue liquid, pretended I could dance like something other than an epileptic watching "Strobe: The Musical", involved in a strange quiz called "Who looks good tonite?" and saw satanic worship of a hat. An evening worthy of mentioning to grandchildren.
Couple of problems:
Un: Some girl seems unsatisfied with her boyfriend's penis and lets in two boys hanging around outside, hoping to get some I assume. They come in a take a camera. A £500 camera. And my last can cider. It's all kicked off now, bitch.
I went looking for violence from friends to sober me up, didn't get any, so tried dealing with it while smashed as an egg with omelette in its future. Slammed a door in a face and that's it. I take my minor victories when I get them, seems only fair. The girl realises she amde a mistake and will do it again next time. I'll be ready with my +1 who is willing to hit me. A friend in need is a friend indeed, a friend who hits is better.
Dois: The one who is most hammered has least chance of getting nailed. Ouch. True. I never learn. And ugly to boot. You'd think I'd like to tip odds in my favour. Nah, forget that.
Blue liquid for me.
Hope it isn't anti-freeze.
Eventually, I end up un-laid with friends (I hope) trying to catch a helicopter back (or soemthign liek that). Can't find one. Found a pizza place near a farm. Went there. Had a good Meat Feast, but the Coca-Cola was flat, just like the woman serving us.
0.5 forks out of 3 1/2
Figure it out.
Where's the second party you say? I've just gotten to mentioning that. Didn't go, heard it was drier than the Sahara's cousin (who is boring as fuck). However, the people who have never seen a party in their lives guilt me and say it was best ever. No, it wasn't. Go away. Your pale impersonation of alcohol doesn't impress me. FUCK OFF. And the unsatisfied girl went there too. What if she let people into the house?
Ain't going to my party. No way.
Well, they'd wonder if anyone was actually reading this. Which they aren't.
Anywhatever, I decided to go to yno, the better one. Had a blast, drank some strange blue liquid, pretended I could dance like something other than an epileptic watching "Strobe: The Musical", involved in a strange quiz called "Who looks good tonite?" and saw satanic worship of a hat. An evening worthy of mentioning to grandchildren.
Couple of problems:
Un: Some girl seems unsatisfied with her boyfriend's penis and lets in two boys hanging around outside, hoping to get some I assume. They come in a take a camera. A £500 camera. And my last can cider. It's all kicked off now, bitch.
I went looking for violence from friends to sober me up, didn't get any, so tried dealing with it while smashed as an egg with omelette in its future. Slammed a door in a face and that's it. I take my minor victories when I get them, seems only fair. The girl realises she amde a mistake and will do it again next time. I'll be ready with my +1 who is willing to hit me. A friend in need is a friend indeed, a friend who hits is better.
Dois: The one who is most hammered has least chance of getting nailed. Ouch. True. I never learn. And ugly to boot. You'd think I'd like to tip odds in my favour. Nah, forget that.
Blue liquid for me.
Hope it isn't anti-freeze.
Eventually, I end up un-laid with friends (I hope) trying to catch a helicopter back (or soemthign liek that). Can't find one. Found a pizza place near a farm. Went there. Had a good Meat Feast, but the Coca-Cola was flat, just like the woman serving us.
0.5 forks out of 3 1/2
Figure it out.
Where's the second party you say? I've just gotten to mentioning that. Didn't go, heard it was drier than the Sahara's cousin (who is boring as fuck). However, the people who have never seen a party in their lives guilt me and say it was best ever. No, it wasn't. Go away. Your pale impersonation of alcohol doesn't impress me. FUCK OFF. And the unsatisfied girl went there too. What if she let people into the house?
Ain't going to my party. No way.
Why am I doing this?
Why? A sweet cocktail of boredom, Sunday and illness.
What? An blog that has bits of truth, but most likely not a lot.
Where? ...
When? Ever I can.
Who? Me. Excited, I bet.
Now enjoy...
What? An blog that has bits of truth, but most likely not a lot.
Where? ...
When? Ever I can.
Who? Me. Excited, I bet.
Now enjoy...
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